Happy Indigenous People’s Day to me

It is not the most profound or symbolic demonstration but I celebrated Indigenous People’s Day my way. I went shopping.

I took the day off from work, that was a conscious decision but I made no real plans. With the pandemic, there were no gatherings (to my knowledge) today. So my daughter-in-law and I got out. First stop was Target. That was mundane stuff like bathroom cleaner and dish soap so no pictures.

Everything here was $1. Workout leggings $1, sloth with ice cream socks $1, sunglasses cat socks $1. From Wal-mart

New drawers from Soma outlet store. I love their pajamas. 1.99 each, from clearance. I also bought daughter-in-law’s Christmas present.

This. I bought my own Christmas present. I’ve wanted a new Columbia jacket, my old one is still good but it is 6 years old. I love how the color clashes with my hair. 59.99. From Columbia outlet store.

My tiny bathroom. I love this jacket. Don’t look at the dirty mirror.

Love that omni-heat lining. It makes this lightweight jacket warmer than a heavy coat.

I know there’s some irony in me buying a Columbia jacket on this day, or really, any day. But as far as I know, the company has no ties to Spain or plans to destroy me or anyone else. So I am content with my purchase. For now.

Seriously, I am celebrating because I can. I used to ignore this holiday, just another indignity that reminded me I was different and separate from most people who call themselves Americans. It was years before I learned about what really happened, what isn’t taught in schools, probably because it would terrify and traumatize children. It horrifies me and even though it is in the past it isn’t dead. The roots are deep and its like a dandelion, you pull up the stalk and leaves. You think that’s it, no more but look again and see a smaller version or several other companion plants. Even if you pull up all of them in a little while there will be more. That is what happened over 500 years ago and still manages to keep coming back.

I an glad to say I have no personal experience with being threatened or physically harmed because of my skin. Frankly I’ve had a relatively easy time because I was sheltered, grew up middle class in a city with a large Native population. My only real experience with racism is being ignored and frowned at by a snotty white clerk at Street’s, a woman’s clothing store that’s now closed. I would like to say that’s why they closed but I can’t take credit. I am lucky and I know it. It’s hard to talk about the oppression of my people with my background. But I see evidence of it, like the governor of my state (I claim the state but not its governor) trying to take control of tribal land and seeming to get away with it. Same governor tried to extort money from tribal gaming but was shut down by the law. I see this and think “dandelions.” Actually it’s more like @#$&!.

So I celebrate the fact I am alive and my existence is a fish slap in the face of people like He Who I Won’t Dignify by Naming, George Custer, Phil Sheridan and that bastard Andrew Jackson. That makes me happy.

It has been said that living well is the best revenge. It’s been said and embroidered on pillows that when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. So in my case, I say I have the best of both, shopping is the best revenge. Especially when I get it on sale because it’s a holiday. It is the least they can do for me.

Rare retail post

I was bored and ordered some stuff online over a few weeks. They all arrived, for whatever reason, within a couple of days.

Its just good advice, people.

Panda doing yoga, two of my favorite things. I look a lot like this doing yoga, but the panda has better balance.

The big one

Even the packing paper is distinctive and neat looking

What was in the box. A shower curtain liner. It was on sale. 1.99

Also these bathmats. Vinnfar. On clearance, 1.99 each.

Back of shower curtain. Do not put plastic bags on baby. Because you know some fool did.

Eggplant (not that kind)

I made eggplant parmesan for the first time and it was a success. Nothing caught fire, my definition of success. I started off with Martha Stewart’s baked version. Most of her recipes are detailed and nearly foolproof. I also have respect for her. She did time and started rebuilding after, coming through stronger and now she’s having a resurgence during the pandemic. She makes adversity work for her. This looked good.

https://www.marthastewart.com/313564/baked-eggplant-parmesan

Then I went to YouTube to look around and found this dude. His version is more traditional and fried. He did things differently and I admit I watched this video over and over; he seemed to enjoy what he’s doing and made it look possible even for someone like me. But I followed Martha’s recipe.

I’ve never bought eggplant or bread crumbs before.

My son ate the middle top layer.

This picture is worth a post on its own.

In the interest of accuracy, there are some leftovers in the fridge. But my son and daughter-in-law ate it, and both liked it. My son gave me the highest praise of anything I’ve made so far– it is edible and he would offer it to visitors (that we wanted to stay). Daughter-in-law likes baked eggplant over fried and said using less tomato sauce (like I did, following YouTube guy’s example) was better.

There were a few hairy moments, such as discovering seeds in the eggplant. Do I remove them or not? Nobody says but Martha’s video shows eggplant slices with seeds. At first I scraped out the seeds from some slices. But seeing the ragged looking result and all the tiny seeds scattered over my kitchen, I decided the heck with it. Do I peel the eggplant? Martha says yes but YouTube guy says no. I peeled those suckers. The breadcrumbs don’t adhere so well to the egg covered eggplant after awhile. Nobody tells you to use half the breadcrumbs with eggplant #1 and then use the rest on eggplant #2. Also there’s the supposed prep time. This took me longer, because I had to bake my eggplant in 2 batches. I only have one big baking sheet. I used more cheese than recommended and I don’t regret it. I will make this again. Eventually.

Milk tea, homemade version. Daughter-in-law made this. Better than boba and other milk teas I’ve had.

Another Thrift

I went by another thrift store after leaving the dentist, I had time and frankly felt I earned some kind of reward.

This thrift supports the YMCA battered women’s shelter. It’s set up like a boutique, a thrift store for people who don’t like thrift stores. Clean, well organized by clothes type and size, better quality goods and decent prices. Stuff cost a little more than my grungy thrifts, no 99 cent stuff but it was cheaper than Goodwill or Sally Ann. They were having a 25% summer sale so prices were even better. I went early, soon as they opened.

I bought stuff but only a few things for myself. Most of the inventory is women’s clothes but they have a small section for men, a section for kids and books. There’s a lot of home decor, items that make good gifts as well. This is my stuff.

Never imagined I’d buy any kind of tank top but we are living in weird times. It’s for yoga, in my room.

Same, I like the racer back. Will only wear it at home and not scare people with my bat wings.

This looked interesting.

Ex-library book, from Ridglea branch to be precise. Wonder how it ended up here.

I did stop at Goodwill but got bupkis. I did see this guy though. He’s very punk.

Signs say “do not sit on furniture.”

Thrifted bookends (my weekend)

I went to buy cheap mailing envelopes and got this instead.

Pair of kitty bookends, they were dusty. Took this after I wiped them down with just water. The red stain is nail polish, I might try using nail polish remover on it. Or may not. 1.50

From the side.

I’m trying to decide on whether to paint them or leave them alone. I admit I like the slightly worn natural look (I should, it’s been my own look for 4 months now). But then I saw these.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Vitg-1966-Cat-Bookends-Universal-Original-Statuary-Corp-Sculpture-B-W-Marotta-/264197215101

My bookends have more wear and I like to think it’s because they’ve had some good times and it shows. I also looked up the company that made them. The founders were 2 brothers who hired immigrant workers, mostly from Italy and Guatemala. One of the brothers was married to a Guatemalan woman so that probably had something to do with it

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Statuary_Corp.

Saw but didn’t buy. It’s probably from a bachelorette party but I like to think it’s from a novice’s last night out before she takes her vows and becomes a nun.

I also made vegetable soup, and I won’t say it’s a labor of love but it’s definitely a labor. Dicing the vegetables took a long time since I really don’t know how to cook. I think the effort makes it taste better though.

The recipe, it’s a freestyle kind of soup.

From this little book, I bought it at booksale this year.

This took over an hour. Behold.

My soup. I didn’t take a picture of the other ingredients because I forgot about it.

Rice cakes

I was doing yoga today and my thoughts were on eating after. Nothing odd about that, but what I wanted was a rice cake with natural peanut butter and honey. This thought carried me to the kitchen right after and I sunk my teeth into a rice cake with natural peanut butter and honey and it was so perfect.

I got crazy and added some blueberries. Took this picture right before I finished them off.

I’m worried I’m becoming Eva. I hope I don’t come across as smug or condescending. I do eat wheat, I even made some whole wheat muffins this morning. They’re pretty good, in my opinion.

I’ve already had two.

But rice cakes? Who desires rice cakes? I cannot imagine myself wanting a rice cake four or five years ago. I’d buy and eat them occasionally, when I felt guilty about the rest of the crap I was eating and trying to feel like a better person. But I didn’t go into the kitchen looking forward to putting the thing in my mouth, not like today.

It’s a thought that has been coming up lately, how I’m different from when Jerry was alive and now, how I’ve changed. I wonder what he would think about it and how he would feel.

I’m eating healthier foods, I don’t eat a lot of stuff I used to, that he loved. Macaroni and cheese, we were both big fans of it, partly because it was cheap and we were broke. The last time I had macaroni and cheese was before Easter and that was Annie’s mac and cheese. I haven’t had a craving for it since.

Another big change is I’m learning to cook. Really cook, making things from scratch. I credit my daughter-in-law for this, she grew up in a household where there were no convenience foods. Scratch is what she knows and I’ve been encouraged by her to try making new things. It’s ironic that I’m finally learning to cook after my husband is dead and he can’t enjoy it. Or sympathize with my mishaps, he was good about eating almost anything.

Places I would never go to, like little local coffee shops and natural grocery stores, are places I go to now. I considered them and the people who went there pretentious. To be honest, some probably are. The punk lurking in my soul said no. Jerry was a very practical person and he didn’t trust a lot of hype. He would avoid these kinds of places and the people in them, preferring to go to Wal-mart where stuff was cheap and nobody was trying to impress anybody.

I get that. But since the pandemic became a crisis and real I’m using chai to self-medicate. I can now make my own but sometimes the ritual of going to a coffee shop to pick up my online chai order is comforting as much as the tea. I know he’d think $4 or $6 is too much for a cup of tea and he would be right. But darn I want it and I know if he were here he would probably sigh when I bought it. At least I think he would.

Because another thing is if he were still alive what would he be like now? All I know is what he was like five years ago. That’s a long time. I’ve changed and he would be different too. Maybe he would be okay with my chai habit. Maybe he would like knowing organic bananas don’t cost much more than regular ones. This is a deep well of thinking, to speculate on what you can’t see or reach. I can’t know, I can only guess and some of my guesses would be wrong.

I’ve changed and adapted. In some ways I’m a better and healthier person. But there’s the nagging feeling of not being able to share this with him. It’s guilt. I’m here and he’s not. It isn’t fair. So when I look at the changes in my life I wonder would he approve? Would he recognize me? Would he still like me? I’m hoping so.

I am glad to say we continued the tradition of the New Year’s Eve cheeseball. That would make him happy.

Chili fail

Making chili is an art form. Recipes are guarded and held secret. Sometimes they are passed down through generations. My dad made great chili and unfortunately his recipe did not get passed down, he took it with him. So I am trying to make really good chili myself, with help (?) from the Internet.

Seeing all the Instagram food posts of perfect bread, desserts and homemade stuff seems as if everyone is doing it perfectly all the time. Yet somewhere out there are the fails. Stuff that didn’t come out right, doesn’t look good or worse, doesn’t taste good. So in case anyone feels discouraged by all the beautiful and perfect looking Instagram posts know you aren’t alone. Also know not everyone gets it right and here is proof.

My mistake: I overdid it with chili powder. The onion was stronger than I expected. The taste was harsh, the spice took over and it was not good. I added more beans and canned tomatoes. It helped but the taste was still heavy. I added salt. It helped. I let it cool and then tasted it. Still had a hard edge but I could eat it. Then I put it in my Dollar Tree Tupperware, telling myself I will not do this again. Canned chili isn’t that bad. But I know I’ll try again until I get it right.

Half an onion, I use the Rachael Ray method.

Some squished garlic, so far so good.

This is powerful stuff. Use responsibly. I didn’t.

It doesn’t look like chili but it’s early. It will get better, I said. It really didn’t

I covered it in cheese, a lot of cheese and made a frito pie.

Online Thrifting

Although most businesses here have re-opened, including the thrift stores, I haven’t been back. I’m just not comfortable with the idea, personally I don’t think it’s safe. Too many people here are too cavalier about not wearing masks and keeping their distance. It would be my rotten luck to get COVID-19 while in a thrift store. I do not want my epitaph to be “She gave her life for cheap crap.”

So the only shopping I’ve done has been for groceries. I should amend that, the only in person shopping has been groceries. I buy stuff online more than ever. Most is food, like the Chickasaw chocolate (see “Pictures of Food”) and takeout. A lot of curbside and drive-thrus, I appreciate that I can call myself a supporter of local businesses and that I’m helping stimulate the economy but the truth is I like to eat and I’m lazy.

I’ve been working at home but still have to go into the office to pick up materials. Last time I went in I took my laptop in a box. It was awkward and didn’t protect it very well. I vowed not to do that again. The laptop is nearly 17 inches wide. Most laptops are about 15 inches and every backpack and laptop bag I’ve seen online is made for 15 inchers. So I went looking for something big enough to carry my stuff and that didn’t cost a lot.

My usual method, in normal times, would be thrift store. But we do not live in normal times. So I did the next best thing, online thrifting.

I bought this bag to haul my work laptop. from shopgoodwill.com

Stuff/trash/ephemera found in my bag. I’m fascinated by the things left behind and what I can learn about the previous owner. She liked gum and pearl earrings.

My laptop did fit, lengthwise. But the bag is not deep enough, which is my fault for not measuring the entire laptop.

Pictures of food

What has made me feel better, besides limiting my time on social media.

Ordered these online, they arrived in a week. A little more than grocery store chocolate but worth it

2 lbs of cinnamon bears. Go big or go home. I did both

I gave in and ordered a curbside chai in Midtown. I missed you.

I broke down and made chocolate chip cookies. Made with Splenda.

Oatmeal with dried cranberries, or dinner. It was a rainy night and this was perfect.

I haven’t done much but eat, work a little and sleep. Although most businesses are now open, including thrift stores I don’t have the inclination to go out. I miss it, but the possibility of getting sick or making other people get sick is enough to keep me home. Maybe later, I can wait.

T-shirt of the day

There’s not much to this, just which t-shirt I wore. I have a lot of t-shirts and finally I’m getting the chance to wear them all.

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday