Holidays can suck

This is a cliche. There are lots of reasons why, but for someone alone the suck exists on a different level. 

I spent Thanksgiving alone. It wasn’t that bad, I ate Chinese food and read. I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to and that freedom was surprising. I did have the sensation of being pathetic when I looked at the quiet and empty house but it passed. I told myself I was better off than all those people surrounded by family and others they didn’t really like; having to do too much cooking or traveling;having awkward conversations and eating too much. 

I got through Round One of the holiday triathlon, Thanksgiving. There’s Christmas,  the hardest part, and then the downward slide, New Year’s which is more of a cool down.Christmas is the marathon, a long slog that requires mental strength as much as physical. Changes in the elevation too, and adjusting to what is ahead without worrying about those passing you and feeling like a failure when they do. 

I am a widow, my sisters are going to be with their husband’s families, my dad hasn’t stated his plans but will probably get an invite from some of his church members to join them.My son lives more than 10,000 miles away and will be with his new wife and her family. I will be spending Christmas with Porkchop,  my cat. 

I have some modest plans, I will buy tamales and go to Midnight Mass, then come home and scarf down a tamale. I’ve bought the few gifts I need to buy and will send them off in a week so that part is covered. Speaking of gifts, I decided that since I probably won’t be receiving many gifts I’ll buy my own. So far I bought a travel jewelry roll, a travel mug, bodywash from Bath and Body Works (it was on sale) and at the thrift store some gray suede boots that I’m wearing now. I might even hit the after Christmas sales but that’s good for now. Moderation, slow and steady seems to be a good way to go in all things, especially at an emotional time of year


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