I accomplished a few things today. I know they won’t change the world but it’s a small start.

I managed an hour and half walk at the river today. I saw very few people, which was nice. Weather was good, and though my feet were a little sore I felt better after. 

I put out some stuff for Big Dump Day. A wooden bar belonging to my sister, a round clothes rack, 2 portable toilet chairs and a bath chair,  from the garage. They were all gone by late afternoon. I hope they will be happy in their new homes.

I dug out the DVD player and after an embarrasingly long time managed to hook it up to the TV. I  just watched Love  Actually and each time I watch it there’s something new. This time I sympathized more with Carl and despised Alan Rickman even more for what he did to poor Emma Thompson. He could have stepped back anytime, knew he was being a prat but noooo, went ahead anyway. I still feel lousy for Laura Linney. However I am glad I’m no longer dependant on having to use my crap laptop to watch DVDs. I  can start doing yoga again now too.

That’s a VCR player on the left, DVD on the right. Ancient electronics rock. 

Holidays can suck

This is a cliche. There are lots of reasons why, but for someone alone the suck exists on a different level. 

I spent Thanksgiving alone. It wasn’t that bad, I ate Chinese food and read. I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to and that freedom was surprising. I did have the sensation of being pathetic when I looked at the quiet and empty house but it passed. I told myself I was better off than all those people surrounded by family and others they didn’t really like; having to do too much cooking or traveling;having awkward conversations and eating too much. 

I got through Round One of the holiday triathlon, Thanksgiving. There’s Christmas,  the hardest part, and then the downward slide, New Year’s which is more of a cool down.Christmas is the marathon, a long slog that requires mental strength as much as physical. Changes in the elevation too, and adjusting to what is ahead without worrying about those passing you and feeling like a failure when they do. 

I am a widow, my sisters are going to be with their husband’s families, my dad hasn’t stated his plans but will probably get an invite from some of his church members to join them.My son lives more than 10,000 miles away and will be with his new wife and her family. I will be spending Christmas with Porkchop,  my cat. 

I have some modest plans, I will buy tamales and go to Midnight Mass, then come home and scarf down a tamale. I’ve bought the few gifts I need to buy and will send them off in a week so that part is covered. Speaking of gifts, I decided that since I probably won’t be receiving many gifts I’ll buy my own. So far I bought a travel jewelry roll, a travel mug, bodywash from Bath and Body Works (it was on sale) and at the thrift store some gray suede boots that I’m wearing now. I might even hit the after Christmas sales but that’s good for now. Moderation, slow and steady seems to be a good way to go in all things, especially at an emotional time of year