Colonoscopy

This is going to be a fun one. For those who have never had a colonoscopy, be grateful. For those who have, I salute you, but not with a clear liquid.

The process takes 2 days. The day before “the procedure ” I drank 2 liters of Moviprep powder mixed with water. It’s not that bad, tastes like mutated 7Up, with a lemony smell and taste. It doesn’t taste that bad, at first. But after awhile you have to force the crap down, I gagged a little when I tried to chug it at one point. Do not do this.

Since I could not eat, I was on “clear liquids” meaning chicken broth, 7Up, apple juice and popsicles without red or purple food coloring. This was okay, at first but then my body woke up and angrily demanded food, real chewy food. I stayed strong and drank 7Up and low sodium chicken broth between sips of Moviprep. It took nearly 6 hours to finish the first liter of Moviprep.

At the time I made a couple of short jaunts to the bathroom thinking “this isn’t so bad.” Not the urgent runs the nurse warned me about, I figured they said that because maybe some people reacted to it that way. Then after I finished the first liter something happened. Moviprep kicked in hard and I understood the meaning of urgent. I spent most of that night in and out of the bathroom. I managed to drink more Moviprep in between trips.

I made the journey to the hospital this morning, wearing loose fitting clothes. I checked in, my sister talked to the clerk and we waited til they called me back.

I was weighed, not a good way to start out. I produced a urine sample and was led to a room with a paper gown, shower cap and some cute socks. After I changed clothes a nurse started an IV and handed me the TV remote. I learned there’s nothing good on TV during the day, even with cable. She told me the hardest part, drinking the Moviprep, was over.

I was wheeled down the hall to an operating room where they put an oxygen mask on my face and I was knocked out. They told me I went back to the same room and the colonoscopy happened there. I believe them, I was thankfully unaware of any of it. I woke up in recovery.

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My Ace bracelet

I was fuzzy headed, my balance was wonky and I was hungry. I remember getting dressed and being loaded into a wheelchair but the memory has a blurry border. My sister told me they said everything was fine and I probably didn’t need to come back for 10 years. I felt okay but was glad she was there to drive. We stopped at Sonic and even though it is Friday, I had a little doggie hotdog, figuring I needed the protein.

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I kept the socks.

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