woo and hoo

I got a job! Finally!

While it isn’t as big a deal as a Supreme Court justice dying in Texas, it’s major to me. Once I accepted and hung up the phone a huge sense of relief came over me. I did not do the happy dance like I had imagined I would. I did tell my sister and dad, right after I told my dog. It was only fair; she was sitting next to me when I got the call and she seemed genuinely interested.

I know it will be at least 3 weeks before I see a paycheck. Yet the first thing I thought was “Yes, I am going out to celebrate,” and I had Chinese food for lunch. I also made an appointment to have my hair dyed, for the first time in 2 months. Making that appointment made me feel like I’m myself again, that everything is returning to normal.

There’s stuff to do, including a drug test. So I have to get my hair done, take Olive to get her nails trimmed, find my old lunch bag and have a colonoscopy, plus I need to do laundry. It’s going to be a full week.

I told a few people, my sisters and dad and a few friends. In a strange way I’m a little embarrassed about telling anyone, because it’s been so long and some people may even think I’ve already found a job. It’s reminding people I was unemployed so long, unproductive and just sad. I admit my sense of humanity is returning, I saw myself becoming a parasite, wholly dependent on others to take care of me and I hated that. Now that I will be able to pay my own way, have a purpose and a place to go every week day barring holidays, my sense of my worth has increased. When people ask what I do I will have something to say. When they ask where I work I’ll have an answer. Being unemployed takes that from you, that sense of being, of having a definable status.

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