Getting rid of stuff is a pain in the butt

I am not necessarily talking about metaphysical things but real, large objects. Such as furniture.

Since I am moving and know I can’t take anything I can’t mail or fit into a 5×8 storage locker it means leaving a lot behind. Besides the literal act of leaving it there is a feeling of nostalgia and even regret giving my things away. I can say they will be of use to others, that it’s better than throwing it away or hanging onto something I really don’t need anymore. Some things carry more meaning than others, for various reasons. My old kitchen table, some memories but oddly nothing that caused me pain. It was mostly relief, to be honest. But when I took my aunt’s end table to Goodwill I changed my mind and brought it back.

But there’s still stuff left, namely my couch and Bear’s bed. Both are too big and heavy to transport in my car or sister’s SUV. I offered the couch to my other sister and she accepted then not long after she entered rehab and my couch wasn’t such a big deal.  My other sister, she of the SUV, took my bed for my nephew and expressed interest in the other bed but then learned it wouldn’t fit.

So I took a bunch of pictures and put an ad on Craigslist. I listed it for what I thought was cheap and waited. I got 2 texts, one wanted me to deliver it (uh, no) and the other only wanted the frame. I offered the frame for half then when she said she wouldn’t have the money til Wednesday  (!) I just offered it. I do feel like a sucker and an idiot but don’t have til Wednesday. I don’t know if she meant to but she played me. I’m not angry, I am glad to be rid of it even if I’m not making a profit. Incidentally this is the bed, it’s a full size and I asked $150 for it. Cat not included.

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About an hour ago I went back to Craigslist and hired movers to haul my couch and the mattress and box spring to my sister’s house. I deleted my ad too. It’s not the way I intended but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised since nothing ever turns out the way I intend. Certainly not this past year, but it always resolves itself.

One step forward, one step back

Which means I’m where I started, not behind at least. I had a heckuva surprise today, two really. First surprise was my mistake, I scraped the side of a little black car in the parking lot at Old Navy. Fortunately it wasn’t too bad, but did make me cringe. I left a note with my phone number on the windshield and the car’s owner called me a few minutes ago. She was pleasant considering I hit her car and I gave her my insurance info. I am trying not to think what this will do to my rates. Which is why I didn’t buy those yoga capris, even though they were on sale.

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The second surprise was not my fault. I returned from Seattle/Federal Way without an apartment which was discouraging but I still hope I will be moving sometime next month. I may have a place but need to have a job and prove I’ll be able to actually make the rent. Other than that, I’m in; I passed the credit and background and other checks but having no income meant no apartment. Rather than getting all bummed out it motivated me to fill out more apps and include cover letters, as a friend suggested. If I get hired and show the apartment agent a job letter verifying employment I am in. So I was thinking all I have to do is notify my current apartment agent I’ll go month to month and hopefully be out of here fast.

I finished up earlier than expected and even went thrift shopping.

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And that’s what happened. I went to the apartment office ready to let them I’ll be around a little longer, and steeled myself to learn how much more I’ll be paying. The agent came out looking a little nervous and began to apologize. They’ve already leased my apartment, I can’t stay on, there are no other available apartments and she was sorry. I have until the 2nd of next month to get out.

I admit I came out a little freaked out. My plan was gone. I have a lot of crap, much of it still unpacked and what the heck was I going to do? Besides myself I have my dog Olive and cat Porkchop to think about. I was set to take my time getting ready, imagined staying here another month and it turned into a big glass of nope. So l told the pets what was up. They looked at me funny, like they wanted to know what the heck we were going to do now. My next move was to lie down on the couch and stay there awhile.

I finally got up and decided I’d call my dad and sister. I hoped we might be able to stay with my dad and to ask my sister if her husband could help me move my stuff. He came over Saturday and hauled most of my furniture to Goodwill, I helped. My sister’s phone was on voicemail and I called my BIL, who said he’d let me know after he talked to her. I didn’t have my dad’s number, he changes or loses phones so often I never know if I can call him.

My sister offered her husband’s labor and her dad’s number. Lo and behold he was there and said me and my animals were welcome to stay. But he added the house was overstuffed, with my sister’s things and his crap. Oh, and they had fleas, from the cat.

This helped but the fleas thing bothered me, didn’t want my stuff to get infested and don’t want my pets to get infested either. I pondered this awhile then decided I can put my stuff in storage and I’ll call some places near my sister’s to ask about their rates. I’ll just dose my pets and hope for the best. And I will hope I get some interviews and job offers very soon.

I’m trying to focus on the few upsides. Financially I’m ahead, I won’t be paying another month’s rent and utilities, even with storage fees and helping my dad pay the electric bill. My sister’s house has a fenced in backyard so Olive can do some of her business in private and I won’t have to walk her as much. I’ll have a reserved parking spot. I’ll even have company of sorts, from my dad. And I hope it won’t be for very long.

In other business I got a pedicure today. The only thing I set out to do and actually did. I also lost two toenails, and will probably lose my right big toe toenail. I am not bothered but a little proud since it’s a mark of all the walking I’ve done. I missed yoga tonight but going to walk at the lake tomorrow. It is one of the few things I feel and see as an accomplishment. Now I’m going to watch some Depeche Mode videos on youtube and read. I have to take my car to the garage tomorrow for a check up then Wednesday I get my hair done. I have packing to do too. But that’s all ahead, for now I’m going to chill.

moving, continued

It’s in the reality stage now. I left my job, my last day at work was Thursday. I gave the apartment office my 30 days notice. I’ve told everyone I’m leaving and can’t go back on my word.

I went for a walk yesterday, to think and to get back into the habit. I didn’t intend to but walked a lot further than I planned. It took 3 hrs and 30 some odd minutes, I felt at times like I was parched, tired and could feel my heart beating hard, so much I had to stop not once but twice. I even began wondering if I would finish, knew I would but when and how were the main questions. It was hot,in the low 80’s at 9:39 when I started and in the low 90’s when I ended at 1:06. I felt a incredible relief when I saw the final street sign under the underpass, because I knew I still had 2 more to go but this gave me a feeling of gratitude. Joy and weeping would have taken too much energy. I was worn out, mostly physically but off mentally too since I began losing sense of time and distance. The important thing is I finished, didn’t collapse. I pushed myself, but stopped because I knew I had to do so. There are times I know I can push myself a little more and keep going but also know when I can’t. This was a time I knew I couldn’t. Sometimes I start out knowing I’m going to challenge myself and prepare for it, wait for it and when it comes, keep on going. Yesterday was not one of those days, I figured I’d go 6, maybe 8 miles, a long walk for me. I ended up doing nearly the equivalent of a half marathon, more than I’ve walked since I trained for the half 2 years ago.

My legs began to ache a little when I looked at my pedometer. I was proud and appalled, as well as incredibly thirsty.

In some ways I consider it a metaphor for my move, to do more than I expected and to find I’m capable even while it wipes me out. I am at the start phase, tomorrow I go to the back room and start the final go-through of my stuff. I will go through Jerry’s things too, something I don’t look forward to doing even while I know I have to at some point. Fortunately he didn’t leave a lot behind. I almost wish I could have someone else do it but there is no one else and I don’t know I’d trust someone to keep or toss important stuff.

It wasn’t all soreness and difficulty. I took my time and took pictures, knowing I wouldn’t be walking here many more times.Here’s one.

And when I left work they gave me a surprise going-away party. I was touched that they went to the trouble. It was not overwrought or too sentimental, to my relief.

Stuff for Olive and Porkchop

I cut into the cookie before I took the picture

Handmade by a co-worker, drawing by her talented 10 yr old daughter. Dog hair by Olive