In the grand scheme this is a minor event not worth mention. In my boring little life it’s something significant.
I went to yoga class tonight and by the time I got inside, found a cubby and took off my shoes the room was already full. The back row, where I normally toss my mat, had no room and I ended up in the middle row. There is an unspoken hierarchy, those in the back rows are usually beginners and people who are self-conscious, sometimes unable to do all the poses. I dwell in this place, mostly out of habit and because it’s secure. The middle row, when there is a middle row, is more advanced,confident and sometimes more fit. The front row is the group who needs the least amount of help and are usually the most advanced students.
I ended up in the middle by default; there was no room left in the back. So I threw my mat between two women who were probably in their 20’s and dressed in little yoga pants and tight tanks. I wore my wind pants and an old Eskimo Joe’s t-shirt. But this is the important part: I held my own. In the middle group. with people roughly half my age (well, maybe not that young) but people much younger than me, much cuter and confident I was able to move from pose to pose with the same relative ease. I kept my eyes on my own practice and the teacher’s voice but casually looking around me saw the girls on either side of me exerting the same effort, maybe more because I did hear grunting and this time it wasn’t mine.
I had some trouble with hero pose but that’s because my knees hurt when I sit back on my shins, a reminder of how I overtrained for my first 5K and did some damage to my right knee. I did camel and noticed a couple of the young ones did it as well. But overall I did everything the teacher did and didn’t embarrass myself like I feared. I am not planning to sit in the middle row next time but if I do I won’t be as anxious.