failure

I feel crappy right now. I went to yoga tonight and could not do the modified handstand, this

http://www.fitsugar.com/Home-Work-Stand-Wall-1981663

or the regular handstand against the wall, this

http://http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/1711

Last time I did the modified handstand, no problem. Tonight I couldn’t, the walls were just painted and felt a little slippery but it didn’t stop the other people from doing it. Then the handstand required a partner to help get your feet in position and I’m shy and keep to myself, I don’t feel comfortable talking to someone who is practically a stranger and either having them touching me or doing the same.  Most of the people in class tonight were people I don’t know well, have seen a few times and maybe said hi to once or twice. They may think I’m snotty or rude. But I am not one of those people who can easily strike up a conversation with a stranger. I don’t put myself out there well. It didn’t really matter since I couldn’t do the handstands and worried I’d lterally hurt someone if I lifted their legs wrong , pushed the block into them or did something else.

I attempted to do the modified handstand at home but my husband walked in and I just couldn’t do it. I figure I’ll try it again, one of these days.

Besides my yoga fail I went to pick up a new med, Bydureon. My surgeon prescribed it instead of Byetta and it’s a once a week shot. Unfortunately it’s also a self-pay. So when the pharmacist said it was ready I expected it to be as much as the Byetta, another expensive self-pay drug. This stuff cost three times as much and when he said my total was 1136 he meant one thousand not eleven dollars. I didn’t get it and told him not to run my card, please. If he did it would have set off bells, whistles and sirens. I’ll have to get the money from savings to pay for it and I’m not wanting to do it. I’m considering asking if there’s something else I can take, something not as expensive. Heck, I could take a vacation for that money.  I got my lab report today from his office, my A1C was 5.9. the best its ever been but I’m still on meds. He wants my A1C to be 5.7 or lower and I’m a little bummed about that too. I go back in April, I hope to be near my goal weight, ready to run the half marathon and off any and all diabetic meds. I want to kick diabetes butt and it’s fighting  back.

I’m also reading Al Roker’s new book, about his bypass. So far it’s just a standard bio, how he was a chubby kid. I did look at the back and noticed there’s a lot of recipes, I may look closer at them and see if there’s anything I might like.  I’m hoping he moves onto his surgery, recovery and technical stuff. It’s a very accessible book, written in a friendly, chatty style. I checked it out at the library.

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