I had a BM today!

This is exciting because I haven’t had a BM since Sunday. This is Friday and I was a little worried, fearful, in fact. Every day I  expected one to arrive and when it didn’t I felt a mix of relief and dread. Relief because my BMs have been hard and painful, they’re difficult and sometimes it takes more than one try to seal the deal. Dread because, well, they are hard, painful and difficult  and the longer I went without I figured would be even worse, that it would be huge.

I even called my doctor about this.  A nurse called back today and said to buy a Fleet enema and something else, my husband took the call and couldn’t read his notes. But it turned out all right, as I was leaving work tonight I stopped in the bathroom and voila, it happened. I was a little nervous when I realized what was going on but remembered the words of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Don’t Panic. I did not and nature took its course. Nature, God Himself took it easy on me tonight. It was short, not painful and amazingly easy. I had no pain, no bloody stools and could tell afterward that this was indeed all of it. I’m also grateful I didn’t need the enema and whatever my husband couldn’t remember.

I used to look after my great-aunt who drank a cup of prune juice every night before bed. I admit I used to roll my eyes and smirk to myself about her ritual but to be fair the woman was in her 80’s and years later the cause of her death was bowel related. So much for my smugness. When I started to have trouble with my BMs I immediately regretted all the snide thoughts I had regarding prune juice and at one point considered taking it myself. I think my aunt is somewhere above now probably smirking at me.

I got compliments on my winter jacket today, it’s a Columbia I got at a thrift. It’s finally cold enough to wear it. I’ve never found a coat, big-ass or otherwise, for 99 cents but I’m not saying it’s not possible. I love the vintage dress and collar the girl in this video is wearing, another thing I never found, cool vintage in plus sizes, just lots of ugly polyester stretch pants. I saw this a few weeks ago and they were on NPR this week. I love this song, if I had a theme song this might be it. Heck,  I even looked a lot like the little girl at the end. In honor of all the clothes I’ve donated to and bought from thrift stores. May there be many more, all in smaller sizes.


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