Knowing Your Limits

My son bought tortilla chips home and put them away but I saw them anyway. I had to sniff them, they smelled soo good and I actually whispered “I miss you guys” to the bag. I know I can’t eat them, may never eat them again but I had to smell them. The need for corn is in my DNA and I’ll have it again someday but maybe not in chip form. As good as they smelled I didn’t feel tempted, which still surprises me. But I didn’t linger either.

This evening I went walking at the lake with my husband and son. Jerry went as far as the first bench but my son went the whole distance. We saw the feral kitties, all of them seemed to be out tonight and even sat still while he took their pictures, as if they expected it. We walked a mile, but somewhere past the halfway mark I had to stop and rest. Something I haven’t done in a long time. Before the bypass I regularly walked four miles, had upped it to almost five. I had asked my surgeon about this, when he mentioned I’d be walking hours after my surgery. He said I’d be doing four miles again but he neglected to say how long it would take. I felt a stitch halfway there and I was breathing with effort and had to sit. After a short break on the bench we got up and finished our walk. I had asked Jerry if I could drive home as a test. I’ve been chauffeured around since my surgery and I’m a little tired of it. I drove home, no problem. At least one thing hasn’t declined.

But when I got home I was tired. Weary. All I wanted was a hot shower and to go lie down like an old woman. I had my shower, washed my hair for the first time in three days and got most of the Aquaphor out. I put the showerhead on massage and passed it over my shoulders and neck. It was bliss. I took my time getting out, the warmth from the shower felt good and I’m in flannel pajamas now. I’ve belched and farted several times and feel much better. Fortunately for Jerry they decided to go to the store so I’m alone.  I feel like I’m twenty years older and wonder how long Ill be this way. I don’t like it. I’m used to being fairly self-sufficient and doing things without thinking about it. Like laundry, since I can’t lift anything heavy, like the industrial size bottle of laundry detergent, I haven’t done laundry. Of course, this isn’t all bad.

EDIT: I woke up this morning and saw my tongue was white. According to the internet this could mean a variety of things including cancer and syphilis but the second thing listed was dehydration. So I’m drinking more water because this is just nasty.

I don’t know why but this seems appropriate for some reason.


2 thoughts on “Knowing Your Limits

  1. THank you for sharing all this with us strangers! 🙂 it means so much and reading about your experience will help me with mine! Thank u so much! I look forward to us sharing this journey with each other. 🙂

    • Not at all, this is something I’ve been doing as a way to deal with the experience without going nuts. If it helps you or anyone else I am glad. I know my experiences may not be the same as someone else’s so consider that when you read about my bad gas and other stuff.

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