Homer: It’s a miracle! …

Homer: It’s a miracle!
John: No, Ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing

I spent the morning in my pajamas, the benefit of working later in the day. So far I’ve made a bank transfer, an appt. to have a laser peel after my surgery, followed up on a letter of recommendation and talked to someone at a thrift about donating my clothes. I’m re-charging my mp3 player and phone. I’ve also been fooling around on the internet. At some point I will take a shower and put on real clothes. Probably around noon.

I need to go to the grocery store, we’re out of cat food and some other essentials. I need to go walk at the lake because I haven’t been in over a week. I need to take several bags of clothes to Our Sisters Closet before I go to work.

Our Sisters Closet is a thrift/resale shop run by the YWCA benefiting battered women. I’d rather give my stuff to them than Goodwill, who gets a ton of crap everyday anyway. The donating is a big symbolic deal to me. I’m giving them my summer clothes, some of which are already too big (woo-hoo) and I didn’t wear. I’m also sending most of my winter clothes. I usually go through them about now and hang them up but this time I realized I won’t be able to fit them, they’ll be too big. So I took out a couple of tops and tossed the rest with the summer pile. There’s a few things still in the closet I need to bag up as well. It’s all in good condition and it is only fitting they go to a thrift since that’s where most of them came from. I will miss some of them, like the linen shirts. I love my big loose linen shirts but know I can find replacements. And I know I’m going to miss my fake ultrasuede skirt, which reminds me of my favorite Simpsons quote.

Homer: It’s a miracle!

John: No, Ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing

I hope other people can use and benefit from my things. I like the idea of clearing some space too. But it’s the physical act of removing my old and comfortable clothes out of the house away from me that is the biggest indication things are going to change. There’s no going back. I’m excited about this and now I admit a little scared. I am anxious about the surgery even though I have a lot of confidence in the doctor I chose and the hospital. But things happen. I worry that if I come through I’ll be stuck there several days because of unforeseen complications. I worry that I won’t be able to keep anything down, I worry even after surgery I won’t lose weight.

I know these are normal fears and all highly unlikely. I will do all I can to get ready for the surgery and try to tell myself it’s going to be OK, repeat as needed, Then believe it. I’ll probably look at this entry in a few weeks and roll my eyes at what a drama queen I was.


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