Yoga class (and some ways men are better than women)

I went to yoga class for the first time in over a month.  Soon as I walked in I realized how much I’ve missed it. Work has kept me from coming , Jerry’s schedule and my own laziness played a part too. It was a small class, only one other woman came and she has spine and back issues so our teacher took it slow and easy with us. Not to say we didn’t stretch ourselves a little further and try harder but she was gentle and encouraging as she adjusted our bodies along. I feel better, more relaxed and almost good enough to go clean the bathrooms, which really need it.

The biggest surprise was MY KNEES DON”T HURT GOING UP STAIRS ANYMORE! I held onto the railing and prepared myself for that sharp little twinge in my left knee but it didn’t come. The next step and so forth, same thing. I have lost only 11 pounds but even that was enough to make a difference and I am excited. Happy, excited and surprised. I didn’t push my suerte, I still used a blanket under my knees during class.

The other advantage to going is that it relaxes me and invigorates me at the same time. Difficult to explain unless you’ve been stretching and balancing in a warm room for an hour to some dude chanting and singing in a language you don’t speak. I needed this because there has been drama at work, it’s girly drama. I’ve tried to stay out of it but found myself sucked in as well. Why I don’t like my sex; girls are too gossip-y, will lie and say stuff behind your back without shame and take offense when none is given. If you don’t join in the gossip fest or trash someone else they think there’s something wrong with you. Why I prefer the company of men (besides the fact I like being around testosterone); they will tell you if they have a problem with you and fight it out face to face. There’s posturing and tough talking but after the preliminaries they solve the issue and you know where you stand.  Men are more loyal, they will defend their friends/teammates even if they know they are going to lose. Women, no, except in rare cases,will do the same.   Men are more willing to negotiate, women tend to see things as yes or no with little room in between. Men are more fun to look at too. Some men more than others.

I’m still hoping I can bring my A1C down enough by the first of the month. I hope I can so I can get approval from my doctors and we can schedule my bypass. It was disheartening to be denied and irritating to find out my A1C actually went up instead. I even lit a candle at church and will light another this week too. We’re supposed to meet our new priest this week too, there’s a potluck after Mass but I have to work so I can’t go. My son has called from his internship, he’s enjoying himself. He’s handled various documents, including furniture and settled in to his apartment.  He was glad to hear we got the car back from the garage. We’re still not finished with the wreck; the rental company said I was still responsible for the insurance on the car and 2nd driver. I had to pay *gulp* $500 before I could turn in the car but called the insurance co. soon as I got home. My agent had to fax them a copy of my policy and he assured me they (the other insurance co.) should pay up. I hope to reimbursed soon. That’s a chunk of change and I want it back.

Bypass update (rats)

I got the results of my A1C. It’s up to 8 point freakin 5. So my surgery is delayed again and I am pissed. Partly because I don’t know who to be mad at–myself, the people who make  Byetta, God or the lab techs. I know that none of these are responsible though Byetta is a good scapegoat and I don’t like shooting myself in the stomach twice a day.

I’ve been following the soft mostly dairy 10 day pre-op diet and after I got the lousy news I left the doctor’s office and went straight to Chik-fil-A. It is part emotional eating (not healthy, I know) and partly because I was hungry. If I can have real food I’m having real food. Dammit.

I’m finishing the chicken nuggets and waffle fries (oh, I’ve missed you, grease and carbs even though I can feel the grease coating my tongue now) before I go to work. I hope I can have the surgery next month, that if I lose a little more weight, keeping taking the #$%&* Byetta and workout more I can bring my A1C down enough to get approved.

Before the lousy news about my A1C I had another lousy experience, probably the most embarrassing incident in my adult life. I crapped my pants. Literally. I had left Kinko’s and felt that urge to go. Now. I pulled into an OnCue and soon as I got out of the car it happened, I didn’t even make it to the bathroom. I managed to get myself inside and to a stall and finished what I started but yuck. I got up and went home and changed clothes, I had to tell Jerry what happened since he came out to see what I was doing home. I also learned that wearing light colored pants is a bad idea too. I’m wearing one of my many pairs of black pants now and doubt I’ll repeat the incident since I emptied my bladder and am eating solid food now. But when I go back to the 10 day diet I will be sure to always be within running distance of a bathroom an hour after meals and snacks. Always.

Pre-op diet (fingers crossed)

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I walked for the first time in almost 2 weeks and took this picture of one of the feral cats that live at the lake. There’s a group of people who feed and water them, I don’t think it’s an actual formal group, just people who have compassion for animals. I left some kitty food in one of the bowls once but my own cat was displeased that I took his food so I’ve not done it since.

I’ve started the 10 day pre-op “soft” diet. I haven’t been cleared for surgery, this is just hopeful anticipation but I hope to be cleared by the end of week. I re-took the A1C blood test on Friday and the results haven’t come in yet, according to my doctor’s office. I’m hoping my numbers are better this time around and I can get cleared for bypass surgery. I have to convince my regular doctors to approve the surgery and that may be the biggest hurdle: getting ahold of them, getting them to review my test results and (most of all) getting them to write the actual approval letters. It may be way too optimistic but I hope to have my surgery on the 14th, next Thursday. My doctor leaves for vacation the next week.

I bought the groceries for the 10 day diet, Atkins Advantage shakes, sugar-free jell-o and pudding, soup, lots of soup and cottage cheese. the first day was OK, I followed the sample diet plan in my bariatric notebook and didn’t feel hungry more than usual. I also drank a lot of water and that probably helped.

Today is day two and I wanted “real” food, stuff I could bite into and chew. It didn’t help that there were cookies and chips in the breakroom at work, it was for the teen volunteers for summer reading but everyone else ate too. I drank my Atkins shake and ate my jell-o but really wanted those cookies. The feeling eventually passed but it probably helped that I finished my shake outside the door, with my back to the snacks on the table.

I stopped at the store after walking for more soy milk. Doing the pre-op diet is not fun if you are lactose-intolerant. I was gassy yesterday and today I planned and took Beano. Some of the stuff is good, like the banana fudge sugar-free pudding. I LOVE this stuff, only thing is by the time I start enjoying it I’ve finished the little cup and start scraping the edges. The Atkins shakes are good and the Carnation breakfast essentials are sweet. I had some V-8 because the sweetness started to get to be too much, I am not much of a sweet eater, I’m more a carb fiend. It was a good alternative to all the dairy too.

I’m hoping the test results come in tomorrow. I work late and if so I am all over that.

In the last month I’ve lost 10 pounds, due to Byetta. I was hovering between sizes and now I am the smaller size. For the first time in more than 20 years, no lie. I ordered a skirt from Old Navy, not from the Plus Size line but the regular sizes. It arrived yesterday and to my great shock and glee, it fit. I’m looking forward to buying clothes in smaller sizes. My plan is to hit thrift stores, the Old Navy skirt was an exception, because I don’t want to spend a lot on clothes I’ll only wear for awhile before I’m in a smaller size. That’s the hope.