I met with the dietitian today, I brought Jerry and my list of questions. I asked if I could have certain foods later and the answer to most of these was “yes’ and “maybe” which was encouraging. I also asked the personal question I couldn’t find in books or online–Will I be able to swallow during marital relations?
She didn’t blink. This woman has seen and heard it all. Her answer- yes, if I take it like little sips and wait at least an hour after drinking water. No gulping. I think I can manage that, I think. Otherwise just spit into a kleenex.
I asked about the Food Funeral. There are 5 things I’ll have to give up and will miss. She said as long as I didn’t overindulge and spread it out over 2 days or so I should be OK. I told her I’m not in mourning for these things and trying to see it as what I’ll be able to do rather than what I won’t be able to eat. I’m trading diabetes and any future health complications for diet cherry limeades, Diet Dr. Pepper, Chex Mix, frybread and Hot Tamales candies. I’m OK with that. Although she added that I might be able to tolerate small amounts of Chex Mix some time down the road, if I chew it slowly and to liquid form.
I made an appointment with the Sleep Center people for an evaluation. I don’t predict much trouble, I sleep like the dead and do not have sleep apnea. It’s a standard test, just a precaution. Tomorrow I get my toenails painted and the day after I see my doctor. This thing is moving quickly and I told Jerry with every appointment it seems to become more real. Before I felt it was like an experiment, a simulation. I admit I am excited, a little nervous but mostly excited.
I told my sisters and dad on Saturday. They were supportive although my youngest sister was skeptical and grilled me like a steak. I was ready for this and answered everything she asked. She still didn’t think I needed the surgery and I told her the bottom line is my mortality. I’m 12 yrs away from the age our mom was when she passed and I saw how she suffered. I don’t want that. She understood even though she doesn’t agree with it. That’s OK, the psychiatrist said some people will feel this way, just deal with it and move on. So I am.